Hey Guys! I’m back! Unfortunately I had to take a break for legal reasons. There were a load of documentarys on Netflix about cold cases and murders and stuff that I really needed to watch. There was also one about a T-Rex skeleton, great stuff. Now that I’m back here’s some movie news. If you’re here for the sausages, there is none. Sorry.
Pirates of the Caribbean 5
This trailer has a creepy pasta CGI young Johnny Depp just like the creepy pasta Robert Downey Jr. in Civil War and the creepy pasta Leia and Tarkin in Rogue One. It’s the new thing. Everybody’s doing it. Pirates 5 has everything. Javier Bardem, Ghost Sharks, a ruddy faced Geoffrey Rush. All it needs now are some bland Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightly type characters. Oh wait……
Johnny Depp returns to the big screen as the iconic, swashbuckling anti-hero Jack Sparrow in the all-new “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.” The rip-roaring adventure finds down-on-his-luck Captain Jack feeling the winds of ill-fortune blowing strongly his way when deadly ghost sailors, led by the terrifying Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem), escape from the Devil’s Triangle bent on killing every pirate at sea—notably Jack. Jack’s only hope of survival lies in the legendary Trident of Poseidon, but to find it he must forge an uneasy alliance with Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario), a brilliant and beautiful astronomer, and Henry (Brenton Thwaites), a headstrong young sailor in the Royal Navy. At the helm of the Dying Gull, his pitifully small and shabby ship, Captain Jack seeks not only to reverse his recent spate of ill fortune, but to save his very life from the most formidable and malicious foe he has ever faced.
The Promise
This one has Christian Bale and Oscar Issac in it. Here’s the synopsis and the trailer.
*Fun fact: The Oscars aren’t named after Oscar Isaac.
A brilliant medical student and a renowned American journalist both fall in love with a sophisticated woman during the last days of the Ottoman Empire.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol.2
This looks great as is to be expected. What else do you want? The trailer’s right there. Watch it or don’t, see if I care. It’s due out in the UK on April 28th. A week before Trump gets to see it.
Deadpool 2
It’s nice to see Deadpool 2 using bespoke trailers (that sounds nice doesn’t it? “Bespoke”) to promote the film. As much fun as a montage of action and jokes from the movie can be, this has a certain charm to it with the added bonus of not having spoilers. Teasers are usual 30 seconds long, just giving subtle hints of the film. Deadpool has given us ‘No Good Deed’. A nice little short film to keep us tied over till Deadpool 2. Nice job guys.
